Wednesday, December 13, 2006

We Are Not A Global Village

Neo-cons have been pandering to the President's inferiority complex for the entirety of his term of office, so far and that is why we are in the situation in Iraq that we are in now. To a small, brutish and stupid man, creatures of evil whispered sweet lies that played to his vanity. Like Satan in the garden, they spoke delusions of power to an animal without a conscience and looked on as that animal fell from grace. They took a semi-literate, 'tard and told him he could be Ceasar. And W believed it all. He wanted to believe it; he needed to believe it. And now? Now, he is just another mishapen grotesque, a sign of the end-times for those who know what to look for.

The Iraq Study Group is very clear in its conclusions after a deliberate and thoughtful study of the situation in Iraq. Keep in mind, these are not bleeding hearts, godless athiests, communists, homosexuals or trade unionists. They are not suggesting that men should be allowed to wear wedding dresses in Iraq, no. These are men who have served this country under some of the best evil emperors that we have seen in the last 100 years.

James Baker, that dispassionate capitalist, one would ever suspect he wore fishnets beneath his power-tie; he is a good man, a real man, a Reagan man.

"Get the fuck out now; we are losing," he says.

Very clear on that point, right there.

W has decided to ignore those guys in much the same way that he ignored the lunatic-fringe, far-left cabal who said, at the begining of the war:

"We shouldn't fuckin' go there; we're not going to be able to win, if we do."

And he is getting Amen's and Allelujah's from such distinguished, souless motherfuckers as William Kristol of The Weekly Standard who dismissed the findings immediately as "a disguised surrender."

It is funny the way guys who suck cock so regularly for the US military are quick to call "our boys" losers, don't you think?

There never was a realistic political solution to Iraq. From the begining, when asked, the Saudis suggested that they imagined Sadaam being replaced by another strongman who would most likely be chosen by the US but who, hopefully, would be able to keep the oil flowing and make sure the tribals didn't get too far out of line.

W hadn't hung the phone up from the call to put the bombers in the air before he was babbling, starry eyed as if drunk on Soma, about democracy and liberty and freedom in Iraq. Well George, now you see what these folks do with freedom, don't you? They take up arms against you, you evil little fuck, that's what they do.

In absence of a realistic political solution, the fighting there was never anything more than a goofy, Texas-style, attempt by a bullying, little rich kid to steal free-lunch vouchers from the poor kid from the other side of the world. If our military can't "win" there, it isn't because "our boys" can't kick ass.

To be sure, we have fucked up Iraq's infrastructure something fierce. They will be rebuilding for 50 years before they even begin to cover up some of the bloodstains we left there (and every kid born in Iraq for the next fifty years will learn in school how stupid, and evil the Americans are). No, we can't win there because the "idea guy" in the Oval Office didn't have a clue when he put our troops in harm's way to begin with.

How did the phone call go, I wonder? From Baker to Bush on the contents of the study before they released it to the public:

"In absence of any realistic, coherant Mr. President, I don't think Jesus wants you in Iraq either...I can only suggest that you pull up your pants and run now and wait to apply salve later; you are bleeding pretty bad down there and given its likelyhood to further, perhaps fatal, complications you are best advised to get the fuck out of dodge before you shit yourself in public again."

That's the problem with 'tards though, they don't mind shitting on themselves in public.

This is why, I must say, I cannot blame Iran for trying to develop their own Nuclear Bomb. Of course they say they aren't trying. Conservatives say they are lying and those conservatives are right; they are lying.

I don't blame Iran for lying either, though. W and friends lied about WMDs to justify invading Iraq. To date, no WMDS have been found.

Now, on the other hand, North Korea DEFINITELY has WMDs and is making sure everyone knows it. W isn't talking about invading North Korea though, is he? Fuck no he isn't.

..and the lesson was not lost on Wackjob-medinijad, the President of Iran.

You know, if we truly lived in a global village, a hegemony of small town values and common cultural inheritence, we would be fine. But we aren't; we are in a Global Cosmopolis with people from every walk of life. Rich, poor, christian, muslim, jew, shinto-buddhist, druse, satanist, wiccan, druid, what have you, they are all within a twelve hour plane ride into the side of a building anywhere in the world (look out, your town might be next).

There's a million sad stories in the city, it's a pity.

"Arm yourself," said the cop to me after coming home from Katrina. "And if you have to shoot someone, put a knife in his hand and drag his leg onto your property before you call us."

And that's the deal.

If I were the President of Iran, I would definitely be trying to build a fucking nuclear missle. And if anyone asked me why, I would tell them because I just watched my next door neighbor get punked by a sociopathic retard, covered in his own shit and I'll be damned if I'm going out like that.

It's hard living in the city.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

This is why we shouldn't have gotten involved...

The Iraq Study Group has finally released its masterpiece of political theory, diligently hidden from public consumption until well after the mid-term elecetion...for all the good it did them. 'We aren't winning in Iraq' it says; so there you have it. We jumped into that situation on false pretenses, fucked it up and now we're losing. Who knew?

There are some people in faraway places like Iowa and Utah where that announcement will forever bear a psycho-spiritual association with the notion of the Democrats coming to power in congress. Some of them won't even understand what any of it means.

"What do you mean we're losing? We're losing? We can't be losing. We've got to be winning. Go America! Go, go, go!"

And then, by the time the republicans finally lose the presidency, and we are withdrawing from Iraq once and for all, whatever unlucky bastard has to follow this moron in a monkey suit that's presently peeling bananas in the oval office, will forever be associated with America's defeat in the middle east. Another terorrist attack will happen and in 20 years, W will be reinvented and mythologized the same way Reagan was.

So...America involved itself in the affairs of another country to suit our own imperial interests. Meanwhile, we have a jackass calling the shots back at HQ who orders Gi Joe to squat low and wide and wait for the kick in the balls. It's so funny...back when W took office, before 9/11, he was content to blow off all sorts of military intelligence sugesting that he should invest more into counter-intelligence, anti-terrorism special forces units and what have you and W figured that, as Comander in Chief, he knew better. He wanted to dump money into a new version of Star Wars. I suppose Reagan's buddies in the defense industry had to get their money back after taking the shot to the gut when Clinton took power and cut off the tap from the public trough that they had been suckling throughout the '80's.

So, in year 1 of W's tenure as Chief Executive village idiot, he pisses away a couple hundred million to those guys who paid for him to get elected to develop some tech that all scientists not on the project payroll agree will most likely not work the way it is marketed, if it works at all. Then 9/11. Then he orchestrates a doomed offensive in Afghanistan; a war ordered against a country that has already proven its ability to outlast anyone with the nerve to set foot on their soil with violent intentions. Did anyone even notice that there has been a new wave of violence in Afghanistan?

To cap it all off, he involves the US military in the largest clusterfuck, so far, in history. Waging war in Mesopotamia, the birthplace of civilization and fucking shit up like it has never been fucked up before.

The big rats have already jumped ship. Powell's gone. Rummys gone. The only one holding out is Condi and that's because she really believes that she got that job because she's the best qualified person for it (you see how pretensious-ass Stanford Education plays out in the real world outside of California?). Republicans, real republicans can smell a fucking loser from 100 yards and so George is spending an inordinate amount of time communicating over the phone these days as his party faithful proceed to avoid him like the fucking plague.

George, The Leper...that has a certain, satisfying ring to it. Perhaps that's how he will be remembered by history...